My boss called me out as anti-social, but why do I have to like my co-workers?

My boss said that I’m not developing relationships on the team and being anti-social, which is having a negative impact. I responded that just because I don’t engage in mindless banter or get drunk after work with my team doesn’t make me anti-social. He said if I feel like that, I should start looking for a new job. Was I just fired?
I don’t think so, but I do think your boss is right in that if you feel that way about your colleagues, why do you want to work there? I fully support authentic feedback and candor, but use good judgement with respect to the time, place and manner in which you give feedback and, frankly, weigh the pros and cons of just how candid you should be. You just told your boss that you don’t like your colleagues and that they are a waste of time. What benefit was there to volunteering this personal assessment of the team? What is he supposed to do with that information? And what does that say about him, since you essentially told him that he hired a bunch of idiots? You couldn’t just say that you like to focus on your work and getting things done?

When I’m out-of-office on vacation, but my boss knows that I’m staying at home, he e-mails and texts me. He doesn’t ask me to respond but I feel pressured to. How do I handle this?

What should we do when our boss reaches out while we are on vacation?Getty Images
Next time, don’t tell your boss that you’re on a “staycation” — tell him that you’re going to Mount Kilimanjaro and your phone won’t be working. We all need to take responsibility for setting boundaries that work for us, taking into account the culture of the company, the role you have and the level of urgency involved, like if you actually had to be reachable while climbing a mountain. Just have an open conversation with your boss and point out that even though you aren’t traveling, you do need to unplug and focus your energies on other things during your time off. Obviously, if a pressing matter arises, you will be there — but hopefully those are rare. Most reasonable people will understand and respect that. However, if you keep answering e-mails as if you aren’t on vacation, then you can’t blame your boss for following your lead.

Gregory Giangrande has over 25 years of experience as a chief human resources executive. Hear Greg Weds. at 9:35 a.m. on iHeartRadio 710 WOR with Len Berman and Michael Riedel. E-mail: Follow: and on Twitter: @greggiangrande

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